She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
