No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
