Are we in a gay sports bar?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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