My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
