Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
PANTIES FOUND
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
