im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
