I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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