Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
