just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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