I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
