You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
