i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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