Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
