im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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