how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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