They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
