Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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