I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
