did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
