Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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