He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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