She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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