they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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