When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
