hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
