I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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