Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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