she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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