cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
