I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
two words: eviction party
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
