I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
