now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
