whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
