apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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