Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
