so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
