I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
