Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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