3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
