halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
