he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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