kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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