Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
