so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
