Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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