wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Everclear isn't food dammit
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
