do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
