Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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