I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
