none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
