my sisters under your porch take her home
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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