she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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