i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
