Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
