I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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